


Pappa... Pia?

by Mochas N Mayhem (KoohiiCafe)



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015), Mamma Mia! (2008)
Genre: Crack, M/M, Merlin is a Little Shit, Multi, also, as usual, utter crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-08
Updated: 2016-02-08
Packaged: 2018-05-19 01:21:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5950756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KoohiiCafe/pseuds/Mochas%20N%20Mayhem
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Hi. I'm looking for my father. Is he in?"</p><p>or: <i>Pappa Pia</i>, here we go again...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pappa... Pia?

**Author's Note:**

> Nope. I am never getting the mental image of Harry Hart dancing in blue sequinned spandex out of my head. I really don't want to either. XD

Eggsy wasn’t the unnecessarily paranoid type. Really. His instinctual thought to reach for a weapon when the doorbell rang without warning wasn’t needlessly paranoid- it was perfectly reasonable. He was a spy; unexpected company was something to be paranoid about.

He didn’t, though. Reach for a gun, that is. He was weapon enough himself, especially in his suit, with his oxfords and signet ring and glasses on. Instead he casually activated his glasses- they would feed through the home terminal for now, and Merlin was upstairs- and moved down the hall past the stairs to the door. A quick look through the peephole showed a woman he’d never seen before; long crinkled blonde hair, pretty green eyes steady on the door, lips pulled into a warm smile, a bit older than him, her dress summery and light. His eyes narrowed slightly, his brow scrunching, then he wiped his face clear and stepped back to open the door.

“Can I help you?” His accent was crisp and perfect, a perfect mask to match the posh neighborhood. Whether she was just a civilian or an enemy of some kind, better to fit in instead of stand out the way his own accent would have.

“Hi.” The woman’s head tilted a little, quizzically almost, but her smile didn’t falter. She leaned forward a little, trying to look past him, and he shifted with the movement. Her expression turned considering when he did so, her eyebrows furrowing a little, and there was something like confusion in her voice when she asked; “I’m looking for my father. Is he in?”

Okay, that was the _last_ question he could have expected. If she _was_ some kind of secret agent, she was a really _bad_ secret agent. This time when his eyes narrowed and his brows scrunched, he didn’t try to hide it.

“Your dad? I’m sorry, you’ve got the wrong address; we don’t have any fathers here.” He leaned forward a little, out the door, to look from side to side at the houses on either side. He didn’t know any of the neighbors, so maybe she was just a house or two off? “Maybe-”

“Nooo.” She drew the word out a little, shaking her head, looking more confused than before. “I know where my father lives, I’ve been to see him before. He definitely lives here.” She was leaning again, trying to see around him again, and if she didn’t cut it out, he was going to come outside and shut the door behind him.

“Look, madam, I’m sorry, but you’re wrong. The only people who live here are-”

“Eggsy? Who’s at the door?”

Eggsy started to turn, to look where Harry was just coming down the stairs, and started to answer; “It’s just-”

“ _Harry_!” The woman was grinning now, her eyes bright and happy, and she was _definitely_ trying to look around him, even more than before. And, even stranger-

“Sophie?” Weirder still was Harry’s answering call, his voice surprised and happy at the same time, and then he was down the stairs and behind Eggsy, reaching to open the door fully. When Eggsy looked up and back at him, the smile he sported was unusually wide and warm, and not something he was used to seeing directed at some stranger, especially a strange woman looking for her father.

“ _Harry_?” Eggsy questioned. A hand settled onto his shoulder in answer, as Harry focused his attention on the woman.

“I wasn’t expecting you, my dear. What are you doing in London?”

“It was kind of a surprise,” she answered, her head ducking with a little laugh, and Harry snorted in amusement.

“You and your surprises. Why don’t you come on in.”

“Harry, wha-”

“Eggsy, lad, come over here.”

The look on Eggsy’s face, as he pulled away from Harry, as he turned back to look where Merlin was descending the stairs and motioning him over, was confused as _hell_. The look Merlin was giving him back, head cocking towards the living room, eyebrows raised, made him screw up his face and huff out a sigh and answer,

“Yeah, yeah, I’m comin’.” If a little of his own accent slipped out with the words, oh well. Clearly Harry knew the lady, and if Harry knew her and wasn’t worried, he wasn’t going to worry either.

“We’ll be along in just a moment, Eggsy,” Harry smiled, as Eggsy started to move after the Scot, and tugged him back gently. He placed a light kiss on the top of his head before letting him go again. The kiss lightened his expression just a little, and he went into the living room then, leaving Harry with the stranger in their foyer.

Merlin was already sitting in his favored armchair when he entered, and Eggsy wasted no time in flopping artlessly onto the couch beside it. A focused look was pinned on the older man as he jerked his head towards the foyer and asked, “So who’s that, then?”

The other man took a moment to sip at the mug he’d brought down with him, making a soft humming noise, and set the plate of biscuits he’d also brought down onto the side table before him. He waited, just a moment, until Eggsy had just swiped one and taken a bite out of it, and said; “Sophie Sheridan; Harry’s daughter.”

Eggsy choked and spit out chewed up biscuit. Merlin smirked.

“His _what_?!”

“You heard what I said,” the man replied calmly, sipping at his mug again as if he hadn’t just dropped a bomb like that on him, and added, “Ye’ve got crumbs on yer shirt. Might want to wipe that up.”

“Merlin, _what the fuck_?” he growled, even as he brushed hastily at his chest. Because seriously- _what the fuck_? “Since when has Harry had a _daughter_.”

“Since 1999. Or more accurately, that’s when he found out. She was born in 1979.” The bastard was way too smug, definitely enjoying his lover’s flailing. Eggsy’s eyes narrowed. Then the man continued. “Although, technically, she’s only a third his daughter.”

“How do you-”

“Surely, Eggsy, I don’t have explain to you how the birds and the bees work.”

“ _I know_ how the birds and the- that’s not- how d’ya have a _third_ of a daughter?!”

“It’s a long story, and it’s Harry’s story to tell, but suffice it to say: thirty-eight years ago, Harry had a _very_ good summer with a lovely young woman, and he wasn’t alone.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you're on tumblr, you can find me at [MakethWoman](http://makethwoman.tumblr.com)!


End file.
